When it comes to being a submissive, you get to define the rules that work for you. Maybe you love diving into BDSM erotica on your e-reader, keeping it as your little secret, or perhaps your browser history reveals your curiosity about Dominance and submission (D/s). You might suspect you're submissive but feel overwhelmed by how intense it all seems during your research. It’s okay to feel turned on, confused, or even unsure about where you fit in.
Narrowing down the vast world of D/s, especially the various forms of submission, might seem daunting, but I’m here to break it down for you. A bit of background: I’m a masochistic babygirl in a 24/7 dynamic with my Daddy Dom. Over time, I’ve crafted my own unique style of submission that fits my preferences—something anyone can do as they explore D/s.
Understanding Dominance and Submission (D/s)
Dominance and submission (D/s) is a sexual dynamic within the larger BDSM spectrum, which also includes bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. While some people associate BDSM with leather, latex, whips, and chains, it’s important to know that not all relationships look this way—unless that’s what you enjoy!
In D/s relationships, one partner takes on the Dominant role (often called the "top") while the other is the submissive (or "bottom"). These roles aren't dictated by gender—anyone, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, can be a Dominant or a submissive. D/s relationships can be loving and long-term, or short-term and casual. What's vital in any D/s relationship is communication, negotiation, trust, and safety.
Types of Submissives
If you think submission might be for you, take a look at the following types of submissives. Remember, there’s no "one-size-fits-all." You might find yourself identifying with more than one type or evolving over time as you explore. Not all submissives are masochists, and not all Dominants are sadists, so don't worry if certain things don’t resonate with you.
Bedroom-Only Submissive
A bedroom submissive enjoys giving up control to their partner, but only during sexual intimacy. Outside the bedroom, they may not identify as submissive at all. Before play begins, tasks, rules, and boundaries are often negotiated, with control temporarily handed to the Dominant. Safe words are usually established to ensure that play remains comfortable and consensual.
24/7/365 Submissive
In a 24/7 dynamic, submission extends beyond the bedroom and into daily life, though it may not be obvious to outsiders. Submission here could involve following set rules, performing domestic tasks, or adhering to specific rituals. While the submissive defers to the Dominant in many aspects, these relationships are built on mutual respect. Every dynamic is unique, and expectations should always be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon.
Pets & Furries
This type of submissive enjoys embodying the persona of a pet, such as a puppy, kitten, or bunny, as part of their submission. They might crawl on all fours, wear a collar, or make animal noises, exploring playful power dynamics. Pet play is not about desiring sex with animals; it’s about acting out specific roles for fun and connection. Doms may provide pet-related accessories like leashes, toys, or even tail-shaped plugs to enhance the experience.
Littles & Babygirls
Often misunderstood, Littles and babygirls are submissives who express childlike or youthful behaviors. Littles might identify with various age ranges, from toddlers to teens, while babygirls tend to embrace a playful, giggly, or even sassy demeanor without aligning with a specific age. These relationships do not condone or encourage pedophilia, and boundaries are crucial.
Slave
A slave submissive enters into a Master/slave dynamic, where they give up a high degree of control to their Dominant or Master. The level of control can vary but often includes decisions about daily routines, such as when to speak, what to wear, or how much money to spend. Although this level of submission can be intense, everything is communicated and negotiated beforehand, ensuring both parties are fully consenting.
Service Submissive
Service submissives often enjoy fulfilling non-sexual duties, such as cooking or cleaning, for their Dominant. This type of submission is usually centered around providing care and support rather than sexual pleasure. Service submissives are sometimes part of larger, polyamorous D/s households where their contributions are valued and appreciated.
Defining Your Own Submission
There are no strict rules for being a submissive—your experience is shaped by your preferences, desires, and limits. The key elements to any successful BDSM dynamic are communication, trust, and negotiation. Whether you feel drawn to submission in the bedroom or in other areas of your life, it’s important to explore, learn, and connect with your partner(s). As you navigate your submissive side, you’ll discover what excites you, what challenges you, and what fulfills you.
Remember, the journey is yours to define. Explore, communicate, and enjoy the process of learning more about yourself.